Your libido is not broken. You are not broken.  You are perfectly imperfect.  Your libido may be in the shitter or heading that way, but the good news is that being aware and vulnerable can turn this around for your sex life.  You absolutely deserve a sexy sex life.  To have an extraordinary relationship with your partner, you must have a relationship built on love, sex, and connection.

Top 4 Libido Destroying Behaviors

#1 – Thinking that you should just immediately be aroused like a man.

Women are slower to arousal.  We love connection, playful touching, and foreplay.  Our pussy is like a beautiful flower that slowly opens up with these experiences.  We feel it from the inside out vs just performing sex.  Just performing for him, makes a woman feel small and kills her libido overtime.  Men get aroused very quickly and don’t need all of this, but they do want to see you happy and go on this journey with you.  You must have an active role in creating this experience by asking for what you want and directing him to what feels good to you and your body.

#2 – Super Women

Being a super woman, doing for others all the time and taking crumbs for yourself will kill your libido.  When you give, give, give and do, do, do for others your day ends in exhaustion and the last thing on your mind is sex.  This super woman behavior empties your tank and affects your libido because you have nothing left for yourself.

I am a Sex, Love and Relationship Coach. I teach women over 40 how to have a more powerful relationship with themselves so they can have orgasmic sex, deep love, and healthy vibrant relationships with their beloved. You can learn more about me and my Radical Self Love program HERE

#3 – “Shoulding” yourself

Thinking you “should” want sex with the man you love just because you love him.  When you feel like roommates, focus on taking care of just family obligations, have little to no touch, lack of romance and in the same room but not together are all libido killers.  All of this takes a toll on your mind, body, and soul.  You cannot change all this alone.  This takes the two of you to tackle this together.  You are both responsible.  Emotional connection with a woman is critical.  You have to feel safe enough to talk about your emotional and sexual needs with your partner.  You must use your voice to verbalize what you want. There is no dance is the communication and connection if not going both ways.

#4 Having sex when you don’t want to

Performing sex out of “wifey” duties but the experience is unpleasant will make you feel out of integrity with yourself. Your body will be telling you this is bullshit; something is wrong which ultimately creates conflict in your relationship.  When you show up for yourself instead, in and out of the bedroom while shaping your experience with your voice with sex that does satisfy you creates an extraordinary relationship.  A man loves to make his woman happy but he needs communication and guidance.

Do you relate to any of these behaviors?  You are not alone!  Sexless relationships are a silent epidemic.  It is very common for relationships that used to have passion and lust to go through a different phase when they add children, careers, aging parents, etc.  You absolutely can change these relationship destructive patterns that are killing your libido.  You must take the time to tune into what your body wants and needs.

You are not broken but your relationship can break if you don’t figure this out.  Libido destructing behavior patterns can bleed into the rest of your relationship.

Sex is form of deep connection with your beloved.  It’s the ultimate pleasure you can experience with your body.  It can be beautiful, passionate, and deep.  You can have all of this.  You can turn around a sexless relationship and breath passion back into it.  You can always begin again.

This is where I can help.

I am a Sex, Love and Relationship Coach. I teach women in over 40 how to have a more powerful relationship with themselves so they can have orgasmic sex, deep love and healthy vibrant relationships with their beloved. You can learn more about me and my Radical Self Love program HERE

XO,

Melissa