Do you ever find yourself thinking about your appearance vs pleasure during sex?
Do you try to please your partner more than yourself?
Have you thought “this is taking way to long for me to have an orgasm,” so you don’t, give up and let your partner have his?
Your brain is your biggest sex organ. If you google how to have a “great sex Life” you will find things like set the mood, light candles, make a sexy play list, wear sexy lingerie and spice it up with sex toys. All of these can be fun and are but they will not solve your problem.
The experience of sex starts in your mind. If you have insecurities about your body, your partner or even sex in general you will not be able to solve this from the outside in. Too many women just check out from sex because they do not know how to get their insecure brains under control—but everyone deserves great sex, and you can use your thoughts to get there.
Sex is the best pleasure you can experience in this human life. It is a gift and opportunity to feel amazing. It is available for all.
I am a Sex, Love and Relationship Coach. I teach high achieving women how to love themselves unconditionally, listen to their intuition and prioritize their emotional wellness so she can bloom in all areas of her life. You can learn more about me and book a FREE discovery call here @ https://melissamcclaincoaching.com/consult/
Let us go through a few of the most common orgasm-blocking thoughts and how to dissolve them with a new way of thinking.
Negative thought #1 – Your Naked Self
Go stand in a mirror naked and what do you see? Do you take the time to appreciate all the beautiful aspects of you or do you pick apart every little perceived imperfection? Telling yourself negative thoughts like I am fat, I hate my belly, my ass, my thighs, I have cellulite, I have (you fill in the blank with a negative thought) is not good for you or your sex life.
We are all perfectly imperfect humans. All of us. What you see on social media and in magazines is photo shopped with great lighting and special effects. If we all had a professional photographer following us around, we would get better shots to. It is important to remember that what you see out in the media is not reality.
Instead of picking yourself apart you may want to try a new thought on.
New Thoughts
For a current relationship. “I love me. I love my body as it protects and takes care of me. My lover loves every inch of me and keeps coming back for more.”
For a new relationship, a thought could be “My new lover wants to please me and would not be here otherwise.”
Can you see the difference between going into a love making session with the thought “I am fat” vs a thought I provided? This is everything. Play with it and see what resonates with you.
Negative Thought Pattern #2 | Not asking for what you want
Ladies, men need direction. They really do. They want to please you, but you really need to verbally tell him or show him with your hands what feels good to you. He is not a mind reader. Many women feel embarrassed or awkward communicating this. You may have been raised in a religious setting where you were taught that sex is dirty and shameful or good girls are not sexually free.
Whatever thoughts you are thinking that are keeping you from sharing with your lover what feels good to you can be worked on. It’s liberating not shameful.
New Thoughts
“I am going to share what feels good to me sexually so I can be rewarded with a great sexual experience.”
“Sharing with my partner what turns me one will promote a dialogue where he shares with me what turns him on.”
“My lover wants to please me, so I am going to be open with him on what feels good and what doesn’t feel good.”
Ultimately, there are a lot of factors that influence your experience in the bedroom. You will be surprised by how much fun, pleasure, and freedom you can create for yourself if you use your mind and think the thoughts you need on purpose to create the desire and experiences you want to have. Because while we all tend to focus on what our pussy say’s, it turns out what is between your ears matters even more.
You have one life to live right now. How about making it big and beautiful. You get to choose.
If you want to master your emotional well-being and up level your life in your Sex, Love + Relationships, I can help. Book a FREE discovery call to learn how @ https://melissamcclaincoaching.com/consult/
You are beautiful. You are seen. You are enough. You are loveable. You have always been worthy. You are worth the investment in yourself.
I will always believe in you.
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