Women and the Secret to All Relationships
Relationships are simply thoughts you have about another person. Your thoughts about them will depend on your expectations of them and how well they meet those expectations. Here are some examples. You cannot have love for someone but you can have loving thoughts when you think about that person. You cannot be mad at someone but you can have thoughts that make you mad. Someone cannot hurt your feelings but you can have thoughts that hurt. Can you see the difference? Once you really understand this your relationships will never be the same. They will be so much better in every single way. Your thoughts are everything and drive every result in your life.
Allow adults to be and do. They get to do whatever they want. Trying to control them is futile. It doesn’t work and they don’t like it. The same goes for you. You get to be and do who you are and how you want to show up in life. You are a human being with your own free will. When you start to let go of the idea of control, you start to realize how much energy you are wasting trying to get others to behave in a way that will make you happy. Release the reigns on others and stop holding on tightly. It just feels better and the most important person in this relationship is you. Always.
Happiness is an inside job. You ultimately are responsible for your feelings of happiness. When you put all of that pressure on someone else you will get disappointed. Work on your own thoughts to feel happy. There is nothing better and more fulfilling that being with someone who loves you for you and isn’t trying to make you a better version of yourself. Let go of the urge to try and control adults. Let adults be adults and allow them to show up as they are. You get to show up as you are.
“Owning your truth, sharing it even when it is hard is the way to truly connect with another human being. Authentic connection is the key to love” – Brene Brown
Let’s talk about the relationship you have with yourself. Self-love is everything. It’s at the root of all relationships and the most important one is you. You cannot fully accept love from another if you don’t love yourself. Your relationship with yourself is based on your thoughts about you. It’s years and years of all of your life experiences. Get curious. What are the stories you are telling yourself about you? Are they old and outdated? Or are they transformational and propel you to live a big and full life? You do get to choose. You get to do life intentionally. You don’t have to just accept what is because you have always thought about something in one way. Notice what is serving and what is not.
Here are 3 things I know for sure
- You are 100% loveable. There is nothing you can do to be more worthy of love. You were born this way. No matter what has transpired in your life you are and always will be lovable. The question is do you love you?
- If you don’t love yourself, it’s a reflection on your CHOICE not to love yourself not your lovability. You are the object of your love, but your lovability will depend on your willingness and capacity to love yourself unconditionally. When you don’t CHOOSE self-love, you are choosing self-judgement, self-criticizing or internally beating yourself up. You are perfectly imperfect. We all are. We are all human beings doing the best we can with our human experience. Learn from your experiences. Find the wisdom in each of them, keep those golden nuggets and ditch the rest. Why would you choose to treat yourself poorly? The only person you are intentionally hurting is you.
- How you treat yourself reflects your thoughts about yourself. Do you prioritize yourself and your emotional wellbeing? Do you invest in yourself? Do you take extra good care your mind, body and soul? This is game changer. No one can do this but you.
Having an amazing relationship with yourself is simply a commitment to think awesome thoughts about yourself. It may seem hard because our brains are conditioned to look for the bad and to judge. We spend so much brain energy judging ourselves that we have very little energy to love ourselves on purpose.
We are all amazing and we should spend more time talking about how amazing we are and less time talking about how we aren’t. When you walk around kicking yourself in the ass and telling yourself you are fat, unlovable, unworthy, don’t like this and that you are hating on yourself. We can and should take responsibility for recognizing how amazing we are. Because of this we can have an amazing relationship with ourselves. Instead of arguing and putting ourselves down we can spend time loving and encouraging and acknowledging ourselves. It is so much healthier and more fun than the alternative.
Your thoughts about you | 6 Questions to Answer
- What do you think about you?
- What do you want to believe?
- What are your current thoughts?
- What is your option of yourself (self-esteem)?
- Do you feel love towards yourself?
- What do you think when you look in the mirror?
You have one life right now. Live it big and full. You get to decide. And guess what, you get to change your mind and begin again and again until you get it right however many times it takes. You know when it is right because you can feel it deep within your soul. It’s a wonderful flutter. A feeling of love for yourself. I help you get there. It is the greatest investment you can make for yourself.
I am a Soulful Life Coach. I help ambitious women listen to their intuition, love themselves unconditionally, and prioritize their emotional health so they do not settle in a world that does not recognize their value. A life coach helps you up level your life. When you work towards something or change something in your life you are up leveling. Together we work on your future vs being past focused.
You are beautiful. You are seen. You are enough. You are loveable. You are worth it.
I will always believe in you.
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