What is unconditional love? What does this really mean?
It is loving without conditions. For you and someone else.
Love is always created by our thoughts. If we want love, we must think of loving thoughts.
Think of the most challenging people in your life and practice loving them. Get really good at it.
The truth is when you are not loving someone, you are not feeling love. If you choose to hate someone, the only person that feels hurt is you. You are feeling the hate, not the other person. You cannot control how another person feels and they cannot control how you feel.
Use that skill to unconditionally love yourself. It feels good. Love always is the best emotion.
When you love someone, you are the beneficiary of that. Love is an emotion. You can choose to feel loving all the time.
We often love others conditionally. I will love you if you XXX or do this XXX for me. That is not loving, it’s controlling. You give so much of your power away because if the other person does not do what you want them to do, you in turn are the one who feels angry, mad or sad.
Let humans be humans. Let them be and do. Let them show up exactly how they are without control. No one wants to be controlled by someone else. They resist, pull away and ultimately disappoint you. This does not mean you have to agree with everything or condone what someone else is doing but more of an acceptance of this is who this person is and then believe it.
I am a Sex + Love + Relationship Coach. I empower women over 40 to heal the wounds of the heart and rewire their nervous systems so they can start to thrive in life. Using a proven Tantric approach to Sex + Love + Relationships, we create your next chapter based on your deepest desires and what is true for you with confidence, clarity and love.
Sometimes we think we can love a person into evolving into someone we would rather them be. This type of control looks like people pleasing. We do all the things to try and make them happy so that we can have the relationship that we created in our minds. Humans are going to show up exactly as they are. Save yourself a lot of heartache thinking you can change someone. Accept what is. People only change when they decide to and roll up their sleeves and do the work for themselves.
Learn the skill of unconditional love.
Humans are doing the best they can. They are showing up with suitcases full of life experiences. Years and years of stuff. Some good, some bad, some mixed bags. Accept all of it.
Loving someone never hurts. It’s when you withdraw love that it starts hurting.
You can love someone against their will. As Byron Katie says, “I can love you and there is nothing you can do about it”.
Relationships with people are just thoughts about them. It’s all thoughts in our heads. Stories we make up and think to be true. We have over 60,000 thoughts a day and believe a few. Be strategic in your thinking.
When you choose hate, you feel it. Not the other person.
Decide on purpose how you want to think and how you want to feel. You have all the power.
You can love and accept people without condoning their behavior. We just don’t let them control how we feel.
Choose to love people who are the hardest for us to love and build that skill of unconditional love. They don’t have to even know your loving them.
Drop the manuals which are conditions of love. These are the invisible book of thoughts we have on how people should act in life.
Love doesn’t limit choices, it expands. It is always an option and always available.
Sometimes love sounds like no. Sometimes love means you have to leave for good and that relationship is complete.
Always take action from love.
If someone cheats on you and you decide to hate and leave them that causes you pain. Choose to decide to accept people the way they are, love them anyway and leave because you don’t stay in relationships where someone cheats. It’s a boundary you have set for yourself. It feels so much different than hate.
Feelings are choices. If you are hurt, sad or angry it is because of your thinking. Other people cannot make you feel a certain way.
Love is the most powerful place you can be. It will help you make the best decisions.
Love begets love, even when love means no.
When we hate we give our power away. Stop trying to control the world and just manage ourselves.
You are 100% loveable and 100% worthy because you are here. You are alive. You have this precious gift called life.
What determines your lovability to another person? Their ability love. Period.
Loving unconditionally is always available to you. How lovable is a flower? 100%. Depends on who is loving it.
Unconditional love is a skill that can be learned. It is based on how you feel about other people and yourself.
I am a Sex + Love + Relationship Coach. I empower women in midlife to heal the wounds of the heart and rewire their nervous systems so they can start to thrive in life. Using a proven Tantric approach to Sex + Love + Relationships, we create your next chapter based on your deepest desires and what is true for you with confidence, clarity and love.
