How to say Goodbye and Move on

How to Say Goodbye and Move on

Saying goodbye is difficult and most of us don’t do it enough.  You need a process to say goodbye to the things in your life that no longer serve you, are outdated and that deep down you know you don’t truly want.  When you have a lot of things in your life that you don’t love or use anymore, you can feel burdened and overwhelmed.

Learning to say goodbye makes space for new hellos.

I want to teach you how to say goodbye to things, items in your home, relationships, friendships, jobs and to thoughts because goodbyes make room and space for new beginnings.  If you want to create a new version of your life, you are going to have to learn to say goodbye.

I am a Sex, Love + Relationship coach.  I help women heal the wounds of childhood, broken hearts, and relational fears in order to guide them back to deep self-love, natural connection and healthy vibrant relationships.  Guaranteed. If you are ready to work with a life coach and drastically improve your life, I invite you to sign up for a free consult and learn more about 1:1 coaching.  It is risk free. Please visit me at https://melissamcclaincoaching.com/consult/

I used to save everything because I bought it.  I would get a new replacement and put the old tucked away somewhere because maybe I would want to use it one day. Years of doing this created a massive amount of stuff and clutter that no longer serves.  I learned to release the old to allow the new.  I give it away, sell it online, trash it and donate to those in need.  It opens up a lot of space let the new in.

I did this in relationships too. Friendships that are outdated and no longer feel good.  We don’t have to remain friends with people because we have known them for years. It’s releasing what no longer serves or feels good and when I do that, it opens me up for new friendships and the type of friendships I want in my life.  As we grow personally and professionally, it is completely normal to outgrow friendships, old and new.

Many of us are afraid of the regret we may feel.  Sometimes we get stuck in indecision because we are afraid of making a permanent decision that may cause regret and we are afraid of letting that thing go, ending that relationship or quitting that soul sucking job.  We are afraid of regretting it, so we just don’t do it.

We don’t know how to constrain and simplify our lives by letting go, but constraint is what allows for progress.  In order to constrain your attention to a few important things, you have to be able to say goodbye to all the other things.

5 Steps to Letting Go

1. Take an inventory of what you currently have.  Do this with the things in your life, cupboards, drawers, storage boxes, friendships, lovers, people dropping by, jobs, etc. Do this with everything.
2. Take an inventory of the habits in your life. Do you have emotionally unavailable people, overdrink, overeat, thought loops that don’t go away or are you loaded down with physical stuff from years past?
3. Pick a category and make a list. Close your eyes and decide one category you want to focus on first.  It can be overwhelming to try to do it all at once and you simply cannot. Pick one and do it well.  Do it for however long it takes you to bring to completion. Then move on to the next.
4. Go through everything and decide on purpose if you want to say goodbye. Would you buy it again? Do you love it?  Do you want it?  Is it serving you?  Is it outdated?  Is it something or someone you used to love but is now not serving you?  Do this process with people and things.
5. Let yourself feel the loss of letting go. “I might use it again”, “It reminds me of my of a special someone” are just thoughts that keep you from letting go.  People are not things.  When you have something that reminds you of someone, remember that someone is not in that thing.  A rule of thumb is to keep that one thing you love the most and put it somewhere where you will see it all the time.

Once you say goodbye to the people and things you have a fresh slate to create what you want.  As with all decisions, commit to the goodbye and don’t look back.

Allow an ending to be what it is.

This work can be hard but worth it.  This work can take a lot of time but worth it.  Listen to your intuition and follow it.  Your soul knows what is best for you.  Listen to the whispers.

I am a Sex, Love + Relationship coach.  I help women heal the wounds of childhood, broken hearts and relational fears in order to guide them back to deep self-love, natural connection and healthy vibrant relationships.  Guaranteed. If you are ready to work with a life coach and drastically improve your life, I invite you to sign up for a free consult and learn more about 1:1 coaching.  It is risk free. Please visit me at https://melissamcclaincoaching.com/consult/