We are all human. With humanness comes all kinds of struggles and disappointments.
This could look like chaos, worry, divorce, childhood trauma, infidelity, financial despair, loss of a job, tension in relationships, the ending of friendships and the list goes on and on.
This is inevitable. Every human experiences adversity.
It’s how you show up and face it that is an opportunity to grow.
We grow up learning to avoid adversity. To avoid feeling bad or pain at all costs.
Here are 3 Simple Steps to Use Adversity as Your Superpower
Step 1 | Expect that it will show up in your life. You can absolutely plan on it.
Its part of life’s design. No one gets to escape this. Think of a mountain and that it is an obstacle in your way. We can decide to use that mountain to hike it and climb over it to become stronger and stronger. It’s a choice.
The world will always be 50/50 on purpose. You can count on experiencing good and bad, easy and hard, happy and unhappy, etc. We are here living this life now to have these experiences on purpose. To grow and learn continuously so we can show up for ourselves differently.
What are the mental weights you can lift in life on purpose to grow and get stronger?
We avoid adversity because we think the world should be better than it is. We should never feel sadness or pain.
So, we live in the land of maybe. The land of the lost. Where we are scared, don’t know, and don’t make decisions. When you don’t know, you’re not working on it. Your half in and half out of an adverse experience. You’re not going to grow in the miserable land of maybe. You cannot avoid life by living in the land of maybe. The land of I don’t know will keep you trapped.
Be brave enough to love yourself so much that you own your own truth.
Life is a perfect balance between good and bad. Understand that it will happen, and this never goes away for anyone.
The question is, how do you want to show up for these challenges in your life? When you show up and lift those mental weights, think of the kind of person that you are becoming. Ask yourself, who do I want to be right now? Who do I want to be going through it? And who do I want to be when it is done?
You can always bring the power back to yourself. When you plan on life’s struggles, you get to decide how you want to show up and handle that part of your life instead of becoming a victim to it.
I am a Sex + Love + Relationship Coach. I empower women to heal the wounds of the heart and rewire their nervous systems so they can start to thrive in life. Using a proven Tantric and embodied approach to Sex + Love + Relationships, together we create your next chapter based on your deepest desires and what is true for you with confidence, clarity and love.
Step 2 | Turn Adversity into an Asset
Most people think that adversity is a liability. Sickness, pain, misfortune, death, divorce, infidelity, etc. Look at everything in your life as an opportunity to create an asset. If you lift this mental weight enough, you will get stronger and stronger.
Develop psychological soreness by being willing to experience any emotion especially the adverse ones.
Use suffering as a way to get better at feeling. Get skillful at processing any emotion. Negative emotion is what we hide behind, so we do not experience any pain. Be willing to experience all emotions so you can live a big full life.
Ask yourself – How can I use this to become stronger? How can I use this to become smarter?
There is what you think, what you say and what you hear. You get to decide who you want to be through that process. Some people in our lives are not a good match with our spirit. Some people are not going to like us. That’s perfectly ok. Shine your light always. Let people be wrong about you. Be authentic to yourself and your soul first.
You have to think in a new way. You have to problem solve. You will develop skills that stack on to each other. When you build up your own self, your own life becomes stronger.
Life’s struggles will be challenging and hard. Plan on it. It will absolutely happen. Be there for all of it.
The more you can operate at a higher level, the stronger the universe is around you. The stronger the energy on the planet will be.
Step 3 | Rewrite old stories that do not serve
Your past. Everything from yesterday and beyond happened. If you are a victim to it, if it is killing your soul, you have not used it to make yourself stronger. You have been hiding from it. Hoping this adverse feeling finally goes away. It won’t unless you are will willing to believe new things about yourself and to feel all the feelings and learning to process your pain.
Ask yourself, what is the thought you are having now that is making your past current? It has no power over the present unless you give it power.
Internal made-up adversity is self judgement, criticism, fear, doubt, procrastination, sabotage, failing ahead of time, lack of worthiness and lack of self-love. How are you thinking about yourself?
Future projection of adversity can be anticipation that is created in your mind.
Make room for all of them. Allow these to be assets in your life.
We get to see how strong we are through adversity.
Common Pitfalls of Responding to Adversity
- Not making enough decisions. What decision is right? It’s whatever you decide.
- Non action management – hiding, buffering, not willing to feel
- Not staying conscious and thinking of power thoughts to move yourself forward
- Not questioning what is possible in life. Instead become more evolved. Help other people
- Shutting down or off completely. Escaping life and not growing. Overeating, overdrinking, social media, Netflix, drugs, online shopping, etc. The tragedy is when you beat yourself up over all of it.
What is possible when you put yourself in harms way to grow? The bigger the value, the bigger the adversity. When you put yourself out there and shine your light, you become stronger.
How to do it | Start with Power Thoughts
- Write down with pen and paper all the thoughts you have about yourself. Negative and positive. Do this daily. Without judgement start to get curious about the stories you are telling yourself.
- Decide consciously to think about adversity in your life.
- Power Thought – Adversity helps me to explore my capacity
- What are you capable of? You will not know until you try
- How can you love in the face of adversity? Genuine love. Acceptance. Forgiveness in those moments.
- Power Thought – I am strong and this can make me stronger
- I have the mental tools and I know how to face this
- Power Thought – I was built powerfully for this
- We were built to have a huge impact on ourselves. Some of us have not explored our capacity to fly because we are afraid.
Make a conscious decision on how you want to approach life. Expand your thinking to what is possible.
There are words, opinions and thoughts running around in our beautiful brains. We are all just bumping into each other in the world. Drop into compassion for yourself and others and realize that other people’s opinions of us really have nothing to do with you.
When relationships end and complete themselves, you get to decide how you finish it with this other human. We cannot control others and they get to show up exactly as they are. When you push so hard against something you inevitably create that in your life.
Decide on purpose who you want to be. Be proud of how you show up. Use these adverse opportunities to grow.
If you are interested in transforming your life and becoming a newer, stronger version of yourself I can help. Book a FREE 60-minute discovery call here
I am a Sex + Love + Relationship Coach. I empower women to heal the wounds of the heart and rewire their nervous systems so they can start to thrive in life. Using a proven Tantric and embodied approach to Sex + Love + Relationships, together we create your next chapter based on your deepest desires and what is true for you with confidence, clarity and love.
You are beautiful. You are seen. You are always worthy of an investment in yourself.
